From Mr. David's Desk 10/27/23

On Thursday morning after drop off, Preprimary, Lower Elementary, and Upper Elementary students and faculty gathered in the gym to take time to reflect on peace. Children placed candles around an image of the world in the center of the room and sang two songs that they had learned about peace. Flowers were laid around the globe and later, students gave the flowers to the adults around the room, a beautiful reminder of the moment.

I asked the parents each to say the word for peace in a language they spoke. “Peace” (English), “Mir” (Russian), “Hépíng” (Mandarin), “Heiwa” (Japanese), “Shaanti” (Hindi), “Paix” (French), “Paz” (Spanish), “Salam” (Arabic), “Shalom” (Hebrew). These words were shared around the circle of some 40 adults. You’ll notice, for example, that “Salam” and “Shalom” sound unsurprisingly pretty similar. Maybe that should tell us something about our shared values.

It’s powerful when the routines of school are interrupted for a gathering like this. Kids remember the different moments far after they are over. Our hope is that “peace,” no matter the language or culture, continues to resonate beyond Torit’s walls. Our hope as educators is that we slowly change the world for the better, one child at a time. Thank you for supporting that effort, whether you were able to be there in person or in spirit.

And thanks to Dounia, Fatima, Nakia, Sherla, Yiting and all the adults who helped make the event possible.

From Mr. David's Desk 10/13/23

International events can seem distant, but as a school with a diverse population of families, Torit feels the effects. Our thoughts are with the Torit students and families affected by the tragedy in Israel.

When terrible things happen, I return to the reason I became a teacher: to make the world a better place by raising humans that value grace and courtesy, have intellectual spirit, and care deeply about community.

I’m reminded, too, that even as I strive for that ideal, I’m serving children in all their complexity. They delight and confound us. They’re wonderful and frustrating, and we can find ourselves as parents pulled back and forth by the work of raising kids. Are we doing this right? Is there a “right” to begin with?

I’m delighted when parents share their pride in their children at their best. We see it, too, in Torit’s classrooms and in informal interactions between students. We also see kids figuring out how to get along, how to regulate their minds and bodies, how to navigate disagreements and disputes. It’s hard, lifelong work.

Fortunately, beyond teachers and other parents and friends, we have centuries of great minds to help us wrestle with big questions. We teach Shakespeare or Emily Dickinson or ancient history or Montessori’s Great Lessons because we want to learn from others. We benefit from wisdom transmitted from generation to generation and discovered anew.

In that spirit, you may want to read a book called The Blessings of a Skinned Knee, by Dr. Wendy Mogul. Though it’s been out for more than 20 years, it offers insights from the Torah, Talmud, and Jewish teachings to help any parent navigate the joy and challenges of child rearing.

As we move forward in uncertain times, I recommend returning to the texts of wisdom traditions from around the world. There is much we can learn from those that struggled and persevered before us. These texts can open doors. Onward.

From Mr. David's Desk 10/6/23

Columbus Day/Indigenous Peoples Day is Monday, and school will be closed. I’m hoping to get outside and enjoy a day in nature, and I recommend the same for you and your family. Living on the North Shore, I often visit the Parker River National Wildlife Refuge near Newburyport for its wonderful avifauna, or bird life, but there are appealing properties of the Massachusetts Audubon Society and Trustees of the Reservations all around as well. No matter where you go, being surrounded by wind and weather and creatures great and small connects us to the larger cycles of life around us.

It’s important, especially for kids growing up in the city, to get outside. They should be allowed to look under rocks and logs, touch leaves and bark, and get their hands dirty. Or maybe explore a beach, collect some shells, and see what the tide has washed up. Let them take the day to connect to the natural world. The benefits to mental health and the restoration that comes with just breathing outside is so very valuable. As a parent, I’m always amazed at what my daughter discovers and her delight in small wonders. It reminds me, too, that a day away from screens is a day worth living.

For a book recommendation, I suggest Changes in the Land: Indians, Colonists, and the Ecology of New England by William Cronon. It’s a classic of environmental history, helping shed light on Indigenous People, their attitudes toward land and use of resources, and how that shaped the world around us today.

From Mr. David's Desk 9/29/23

Curriculum nights provide an opportunity for families to learn more about Torit’s academic program and our Montessori approach to teaching and learning. I encourage all parents to attend our Elementary Curriculum Night this coming Thursday, October 5. Parents of current Preprimary students are especially invited to learn more about the next steps in Torit Montessori’s approach to individually empowered, inspiring education. I look forward to seeing you Thursday at 5:45 PM.

Here’s a snapshot of what I’m learning and listening to. I’m reading John McPhee’s Annals of the Former World, his Pulitzer Prize-winning collection on North American geology. You’ll never drive by a road cut or rock outcropping again without thinking about the 4.5 billion year history of our planet. I also recommend his book, Draft No. 4: On the Writing Process, a more approachable series of essays from this Princeton professor and New Yorker staff writer. For podcast fans, I recommend Ologies with Alie Ward, an irreverent geekfest that deep dives various fields of study. For fans of applied economic theory, People I (Mostly) Admire features Freakonomics co-author and University of Chicago professor Steven Levitt interviewing compelling guests. A companion podcast, Freakonomics M.D. might be appealing to the doctors in the Torit community. I also like New View EDU,  from Tim Fish of the National Association of Independent Schools. NAIS represents some 1,600 leading private schools in the U.S., and Fish brings energy and insight to his conversations. Stay curious, Torit friends!

From Mr. David's Desk 9/22/23

A reminder that our Elementary School Curriculum presentation is on Thursday, September 28 at 5:45 PM. We encourage all parents to attend to learn more Torit’s challenging 1st-6th grade Montessori curriculum. This is an in-person event.

Transitions. Early childhood and elementary teachers often talk about "minimizing," "managing," and "supporting" transitions for young children who value the predictability of routines and familiar structures. Don't we all?

Red flags are raised for teachers when young kids have to move from activity to activity too often, or from person to person, or from inside to outside. Transitions can be smooth or rough, easy or destabilizing. The former and the kids are like angels. The latter, and tears flow, anxiety skyrockets, and adults are tense.

The way young students react or respond to transitions should tell us something: they're not much fun for adults either. In the 15 years I've worked with PK-8 teachers and now infant/toddler/preschool teachers, I've come to see personality types. In a nutshell, Torit teachers prefer the predictable, perhaps because they know how important it is to create and maintain a productive classroom. Our teachers know a thing or two about successfully managing change. Upset the routines, muddle the transitions, and things go awry. Keep things evenly paced and predictable, and everyone's happier.

We encourage parents to keep to predictable household routines: meal times, bath times, bed times, wake up times. As parents, you know how important this can be to ensure domestic tranquility.

At Torit, my job as Head of School is to minimize the turbulence, remove the friction, and let people manage the transitions. I do that behind the scenes and also by checking in with families and teachers as you come into school each morning, taking care of issues that distract from Torit’s core mission, and anticipating ups and downs as the year unfolds. 

With September three fourths done, the patterns we establish now will help us navigate transitions and help our children thrive. If you want help creating home routines that best support students at Torit, please let me know.

Back to School Night 2023

From David's Desk, reprinting his remarks from Back to School Night.

I’d like you to think about a teacher who had a positive impact on you. How old were you when you met that teacher? What do you remember about them? How did they change you? Did you ever tell that teacher they made a difference in your life? Have you stayed in touch? 

We have an exceptional faculty. Our teachers speak multiple languages, have diverse backgrounds, and are experts in child development and growth. Even the newest teachers see many children every day, and they quickly learn about their subtle differences, ways to reach them, and how to support their learning. 

As a parent, I know my own daughter well, but I’ve also taught hundreds and hundreds of kids over the years. This is what that experience has taught me: I know Gracie. I love her. I know what she’s like around me. But I’ve come to value the perspective of her teachers, who see her as a separate person. All day, every day, they see her as an independent actor. Who she is with them and with her classmates is different from who she is with me. 

Trust your child’s teachers. See them as partners. Listen to them and see what you can learn from them. At the end of the day, you know your child. But the separate perspective that a teacher brings will help you help your kids become the best version of themselves. 

Go back to that teacher I asked you to recall. I suspect that they treated you differently than your family. That difference is the space where the magic of the teacher-student relationship happens. Ultimately, Torit teachers and parents are partners in raising good humans. It’s magical work.

So let me tell you about a few of my teachers:

My late parents, a military engineer and an artist. From my father I learned structure and order, compassion from my mother. My grandmother, Etta, born in 1889. She seemed ancient when I knew her, a link to a different time and place. I’m glad I was influenced by people with old fashioned values that have stood the test of time. Respect, manners, courtesy, hard work.

Anne Lane, my 2nd Grade teacher at Pace Academy in Atlanta, Georgia, where I was born and raised. Miss Lane exuded warmth and love of learning. And Ricks Carson, my 10th Grade English teacher, whose command of Hamlet and passion for poetry and creative writing allowed me to first think of myself as a writer. Almost 40 years later, we’re still in touch.

Rich Wolfson, Middlebury College physics professor, and John Elder, Middlebury English professor, with whom I was just on a webinar this past Tuesday. Both loved their subjects so thoroughly that I couldn't help but love them, too. John encouraged my further study, and I went on to earn a master’s at Middlebury’s Bread Loaf School of English. Part serious study of texts, part summer camp for English teachers, Bread Loaf gave me a graduate degree as well as an introduction to Anna Catone, to whom I’ve been married for almost 25 years.

When I started my first teaching job, it was at Chewonki’s Maine Coast Semester, a one semester environmental studies program for 11th graders. Scott Andrews was the director. He became a mentor and dear friend. Everything I learned about being a head of school, I learned from Scott: community, the value of shared work, and intellectual spirit. My students and colleagues taught me how to use resources beyond the classroom in exciting ways that made learning real and pushed their skills. More on that in a moment.

After five years, back down to Atlanta and The Westminster Schools, a nominally Christian school where I was the first Jewish teacher. The controversy that led to my hire was a big deal: front page news in Atlanta, articles in The New York Times. I learned about what it meant to be the first and only. I also learned about respect for differences.

Then two years in NYC at the Museum of Jewish Heritage, where docents who were Holocaust survivors taught me about real courage. They were extraordinary teachers whose very lives were the lessons.

Out to Pittsburgh and Shady Side Academy for eight years. A science teacher, Bill Diehl, taught me about making sure students felt known and needed. And Jeff Suzik taught me about what it means to be a serious scholar. I ran the boarding program and later PK-12 summer programs on three campuses plus a public performing arts center.

From there, back to New York to lead a start-up in 2008 that was to be a hands-on, experiential high school in Greenwich Village. Great idea, terrible timing. The recession wiped it out before we could launch. I took away lessons in prioritizing and creativity and managing expectations. Also what it felt like to actually be in The New York Times and caught up in various gossip columns with celebrities. Not my preferred environment.

Seven years as Assistant Head of Fay School in Southborough, MA. America’s oldest junior boarding school. I hired over 100 teachers in my time there. The recipe for success? Hire happy people who love kids and their subject area and get along well with colleagues. Pretty simple; vitally important.

Three years rebuilding Glen Urquhart School in Beverly. A year trying educational consulting. Then the pandemic, a mid-career master’s at Harvard, where I still help teach a class, then two years as Assistant Head of Kingsley Montessori in Back Bay. 

Kingsley is 85 years old and three times Torit’s size, it’s one model for us, except Kingsley, like Torit, ends in 6th grade, which leads me to dream about a Torit Middle School that would take us through 8th grade and allow Torit students to apply as 9th graders to BB&N, Milton, Nobles, Dexter, Beaver, and a host of other day and boarding schools. I’d love to draw on my experiences in Maine and New York to create a unique, hands-on, authentic program for a select group of middle schoolers and get them out into Boston every day. It won’t happen overnight, but I hope many of you will consider a long run at Torit that might bring your students to an 8th grade graduation here someday. We can dream, right?

Let me take us back to teachers. Teachers make a school. They’re magic makers for children. They give children a sense of what it means to love learning, follow passions, get along with others, and be independent. Moms and dads and grandparents: you’ll always be their first teachers. But take a deep breath, learn with us about who these potential-filled, small humans are and who they might be. Keep the long view in mind. Along the way, we’ll “open doors” for your children to productive and meaningful lives.